It has been almost a year since I miscarried our baby.    I was 8 weeks and 6 days along and had 2 perfect ultrasounds.  We thought we were on our way to a healthy baby when something went wrong.  My husband went with me to another ultrasound that day...we were just assuming another picture of the heart beating.  What we found out was that sometime in the week previous the heart had stopped beating and there is no one to explain to us why.  There are still a gazillion unanswered questions.  My niece was born the day after I miscarried...it was a bitter sweet moment for us...We were grieving and they were rejoicing.  Now she is almost 1 and almost walking...it is her first Christmas and we have no new baby to share our Christmas with.  *sigh*  I have 3 children from my first marriage but this was to be the first for my husband...I hurt so much for him too...The older I get the less chance I have of ever having another baby....and the less chance he has of ever being a father.  It saddens me greatly.  Dont get me wrong....we try almost daily....*soft smile*  but my eggs must be too old for his quick sperm....something isnt clicking and its making us crazy.  Well I am off to bed...its been a long damn day....hard to be in the Christmas mood right now...